Raito.

//Envious of those lights
She was tempted to muddle their peace,

Holding them in her hands she was seeking for relief,

But was taken aback when welted by a shock,

Suddenly those minuscule lights started to talk,

What the lights said is hard to believe,

But somehow those wise words diminished her grief, “You think we’re perfect, don’t you, you fool,
But you don’t know how hard it is to erase the darkness, in this world where significance is given to the fiendish and the cruel,
Granting brilliance to the dark somewhat drains out our light,
But no one can ever notice the heat and the pressure that is inside,
Selflessness is the meal that we feed upon,
But how will your numb soul get that, which got pale just by one tragic storm,
You feel sad and depressed when darkness striked you once,
Think about us whose existence revolves around vanishing this scum”

Damn!! these lights just gave her a shock,

Made her realise she was in dark for so long , waiting to return aboard,

The aboard which lied inside her heart,

These lights just saved her soul, when she was ready to fall apart…. //

© AprendiZ

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Not a love letter!

Yesterday our love-hate story had a plot twist,
Which I’ll elaborate in a gist,
No, I don’t love you,
But I don’t hate you either,
Let me be more
comprehensible,
In common terms,
I’ll say “it’s complicated”
Yesterday we had spent
our first,
no second,
no third,
no fourth,
Wait!
I’ve lost the count,
But yeah we had spent another dark night together,
I couldn’t sleep cuddled in your arms,
Or probably chocked,
Both are synonyms for me now,
Yesterday,
Instead of being warm,
Your hug was toxic,
More toxic than those sleeping pills that gave up on me long ago,
But still, I’m stuck to them,
Just like I am to you,
You know sometimes you love to play with your pain,
True for us, though for them it’s insane,
Having a tiresome day again,
And having this realization of coming back to you,
Has made this day heavier,
Heavier than those loud yet peaceful tick-tocks of the clocks,
That never halts,
It’s strange how your most comfortable lap,
Is now claustrophobic for me,
You are a perfect definition of sadist,
But still my only therapist,
The only difference in your therapy is,
You are both the curator and creator of this anguish,
When we used to count millions of stars,
Sleep was never a bar,
The only bar existing at that time was that “chocolate bar”,
Remember you gifted it to me on our first ever coffee date,
Now every day we meet we have numerous shots of coffee,
Bottoms up and empty cups,
I think now when I’ll draw the symmetric criss-cross on this wrist skillfully with that blade,
I’ll bleed coffee,
It’s strange why you never came with a warning label,
It should’ve been clearly mentioned that you will cause me
Insomnia,
Trauma,
And cavities too,
(What else can we expect from having excess chocolates)
But this is not the sole reason for my rage,
I seriously want to turn the page,
And see other colors too,
Apart from black,
The burning reds,
The feverish pinks,
The bright whites,
The neon greens,
The vivacious purple,
The skillful orange,
The dirty yellow,
The calm blue,
And the dull greys too,
I know your black is a mixture of it all,
But now I want to understand the process of its rise and fall,
Your shady attractive behavior is not turning me on now,
The pain and anxiety are not giving that peace somehow,
So here is a letter to your mystic realm,
To the demise of my love’s anthem,
To the creator of these crescent moons under my eyes,
To my companion for watching that real crescent moon of the magnificent dark sky,
And to the endless mayhem,
This is a letter to you my forced soulmate
A letter to 3:00 A.M.
Not a love letter,
A simple proposal,
Would you like to cuddle with me and have a good night sleep?
Let’s take all the colors and paint new dreams,
Because the day has come to defeat those nightmares and screams,
You are and will be the most special hour of all the 24,
So would you like to convert “its complicated” into “it’s not so complicated anymore”?

©AprendiZ

The death…

“My brother is dead now” she cried out loud .

Waking up she realised the gravity of her eccentric nightmare, her brother, her universe was shot dead in her dream. Guilty she was for such an iniquitous dream. Suddenly the eerie silence was interrupted by clamour, as the door banged open. Relieved seeing her brother’s face but was soon twisted like a toy, sabotaging her soul he shattered her fallacy in humanity. She was raped. Screams were frozen inside her heart , maybe melting out through her sad eyes .

“My brother is dead now ” she cried out loud.

© Aprendiz

Simply Nothing !

I have some plans for today,

“So today I am going to do nothing”
I cried as I was lying on my bed ,
Half dead ,
or maybe completely dead.
“Why dead” you ask ,
So let me introduce myself,
I’m one of you,
Striding in this rat race,
Compelled to take decisions I don’t want to,
Bewitched by the fallacies I don’t have to,
Doing “meaningful things” that now seem meaningless,
Somehow they had relevance for me ,
Laughing often but the heart is craving to be glee,
“So why laugh though?”
No ,no , no, this laughter is just to add a bit of more plight to this tragedy,
Tragedy for which everyone craves,
Tragedy which often is confused as solace,
Well I don’t know much but one thing is very clear, this tragedy has drowned me in an endless pace,
Now I am rendered sleepless on this bed,
When I want to cry, I want to feel,
I want to love and most importantly I want to be real,
The only thing I actually do is
To add on to this miserable baggage of life,
Yeah miserable it has become,
“But why?”
Well for me it is miserable to laugh when you don’t mean it,
It is miserable to lie on that very bed where the dignity was snatched away,
Where your womanhood was the one that betrayed,
It is miserable to transform into an effigy that you never wanted to be,
But now that effigy is somehow reciting this poetry,
But these are not answers these are mere facts,
Why do you think if I had the answers, I would’ve to gasp….
This crying is different as well,
Tears are dry but wounds are sore,
Brain says relentlessly “don’t cry any more”
But heart is heart as they say,
Either it can be sad or it can be gay,
So here again the alarm clock is ringing over the head,
While I’m here lying on what they call a comfortable bed…
“Comfort, well what is that?”
I really don’t know,
Was I this consumed always or is this just a dream I beg to know,
Well dream it cannot be because you need to sleep for that and I by these very beautiful hands murdered that luxury,
Luxury of self talk, luxury to think,
think of myself and let the time sink,
All this because of someone else, ain’t I cruel yes very cruel I must tell,
But the clock is still ringing just like a knell,
I laughed hysterically as how can someone be killed who is already residing in hell,
“Hell?” you ask well let me make it clear,
My kind of explanation might look surreal.
But when the demons approached behind the veil like angels,
And when they tortured without any good reason,
I did what was completely wrong,
I blamed this very own self and changed along,
Now the soul says “This is not the place where I belong”
But what a plight,
Here only this soul has to reside,
A place where in one moment or another the thoughts collide,
Heaven as they say is a place for good souls and I believe that goodness of mine no more agrees to reside here anymore ,
She might have escaped to heaven or might have died,
The only thing left is remains,
Foot prints in the sand trudging towards endless drain,
So when I visualize hell it must be something alike,
Coexisting with your alter ego and never thinking always running to strive,
But why striving when you don’t spend your days with your own self,
Aren’t you the only one who will be there while it is dusk or dawn or what so ever you call it in hell,
While making place for “others” , my space is now no more mine,
The imperfections of being perfect brighly shine,
So today I will do nothing and let my thoughts flow,
Maybe the old soul won’t rejuvenate but some wisdom will be reincarnated
That I know .
As I woke up it was 5 but how is this rational it was 6 a while ago?
That lost smile was back on my face, screaming loudly that I slept and that was the power of getting lost into nothingness
That I know.

© Aprendiz

Ruminations.

Night…..

So dark but still through the stars it seeks for the light….

During these nights I usually muse….

Introspcting this soul that is tarnished and abused….

I sigh and search for answer….

Why did you do that, weren’t you supposed to be my protector ….

Hideous thoughts never intimidated your soul I ask….

Kindness died inside you or maybe there wasn’t anything of that sort inside …. Alas!

Still remember those fiendish fingers lingering over my waist….

The demon which consumed light from this soul, savouring the entire taste….

The grave terror of that night and the screams that never came out….

Something died that day…. Yeah that was my soul, no doubt ….

So many things changed that night….

You showcased your malice and that pushed me towards this plight….

Nightmares have become my companions all thanks to you….

I can’t sleep often, yeah this shit is true….

So that’s why I’m so weird ,talking to this raven sky ….

Can’t forget that devil, no matter how many times I try….

Grateful for only one thing that the universe proteced this physical self somehow….

But what about the faith in people that’ll never be restored now….

“At least this night is not a mirage….” The present calls out!

For the first time ever she breaks away from the shadows of past,

Because of her this deed even the stars are proud….

“Finally we taught her how to not get sabotaged by this darkness….

Now she’ll be the one to never give up and grasp light even from this sadness….. ”

Whispered the stars….

Yes even the brightest smiles are a veil to hide deep scars….

© AprendiZ

Jitsugen (realisation)

I never wondered plight of that girl you know …

She was always there

Suppressed….

Always listening and just once wanted to get addressed….

Wanted to feel how it is like to be yourself….

(dammit someone tell her this world is not for those stupids)

Always gave this excuse to myself….

How could I forget that she was the one giving me strength when I was shattered….

Her little hands caressing my head when others just baffled….

But here comes the need to revive that poor thing….

You might wonder what I’m just mumbling….

And who that girl might be…..

Well that’s my true self who’s now scribbling this poetry…..

© AprendiZ

Naikan (introspection)…

Yes she was alone…

But now grown…

To a better person who loved introspection…

Never regretted her decisions…

They laughed mistaking her solitude as lonliness…

She laughed at their ignorance…

What they thought was a cage inside her brain…

Was her escape from the world of pain…

In that world she was a free bird…

Where the beating heart and her thoughts were preserved…

How could she expain…

Her companion was not lonliness, because it was a malaise…

Her friend was solitude, that for her was grace…

The key to her self absorption…

To the world where her soul was free from any detention….

©AprendiZ

The three days quote challenge #day 3

Today is the last day of this beautiful challenge so thanks a lot nefilibata 💕 for giving me this beautiful task.

So the quote for today is

Never giving up is the trait that life teaches us with time… The trait that makes us understand that what matters is the journey and not the destination 😊.

Thanks again nefilibata and here ends my challenge. Hope I did well..

Happy blogging everyone 😊💕

The 3 days quote challenge #day 2.

Thanks again nefelibata for nominating me to the 3 days quote challenge 💕♥️ ,

Please check out her blog it is undoubtedly beautiful 😊.

So the quote for the day is :

As the quote says, the most beautiful thing with which you can decorate your soul is simplicity. Those who can solve the mystery of simplicity get the ultimate serenity.

Happy blogging everyone 😊

The 3 days quote challenge # day 1.

In this beautiful world of blogging, I found another wonderful writer nefelibata who no doubt is an amazing and talented person. I loved her work and I know you all are going to love it too once you see it. So please do check out her blog , I assure you won’t regret it 😊.

Well thanks a lot nefelibata for nominating me to the 3 days quote challenge 💕♥️ , it really means a lot.

As today is friendship day, and wordpress was the thing that gave me so many beautiful blogger friends when I needed them the most, and still am getting the love and support from them I want to thank you all for joining me. I mean it ♥️. I never thought I’d get 500 followers and that too so soon… Thank y’all and you all are wonderful and beautiful. Always stay blessed and happy 😊.

So here’s the quote just for you all

Once again a big thank you….

Happy blogging everyone 💕